On My Own Too Long
by LoveforPenandDerek
Summary: Just as Reid and Prentiss start a romance she is forced into witness protection.
1. Chapter 1

**Note**- The title of this story comes from the song This Year's Love.

**On My Own Too Long**

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Chapter One**

**February 2011**

"Thank you," he told her, as they sat on her couch late that evening, having drinks and talking "for going to the movie with me. I knew you were the only one who would enjoy it as much as I would."

"Sure, no problem. In fact, anytime you have any slightly nerdy thing you wanna do you know who to call."

He chuckled. "I wish it was so easy to ask other women to go out."

"Oh, should I be offended? Are you saying this wasn't a real date?" she joked with him while he gave her a nervous look back that made her laugh. "I know what you mean. Its hard to connect with a stranger. We really don't have the time anyway, with our jobs. Look at JJ and Garcia, they both hooked up with guys they met through work. So I guess, Reid, you need to look a little closer to home."

"Do you mean Ashley?"

Emily's eyes widened.

Reid went on "Cause Garcia and Morgan both claim I have a crush on her but I don't actually. I mean she's pretty, sure, but pretty isn't enough to entice my interest."

"Pretty is a good start, I'd say. Plus she's smart and funny too, right? And even if she doesn't speak Russian you could have asked her to see Solaris tonight with you. It did have subtitles."

"I could have but I wanted to ask you."

She took a big gulp of her wine.

Reid went on "I do, actually, feel a connection to someone I met through our job but I'm not sure if it really matters. What if I can't be with the person I feel this connection with? Then what? Do I just forget I ever felt it at all? How do I do that?"

"Don't ask me. I have the worse luck with romance. Four decades to make at least one relationship not suck and I've never managed it yet."

"You probably didn't start dating till puberty so its closer to 25 years that you've been sexually active."

"Wow. Now I feel_ so _much better."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

She chuckled. "Its okay. Actually tonight was the best non-date date I've had in as long as I can remember. Maybe that should tell me something."

In a serious tone, while staring deep in her eyes, he said "Maybe it should, Emily. Maybe it should tell us both something."

For a moment they stared into each other's eyes until he looked away, clearing his throat.

"Well, like I said," Emily told Reid "anytime you wanna ask me out again, go for it. Its not like I have a busy social calender to move around or anything. Most nights I'm just here with Sergio watching the Food Network and planning out menus for dinner parties I'll never have."

"Then why do you plan the menus?"

She shrugged. "For the fun of it."

"Why don't you have more dinner parties then?"

"Why do you think? I had to cancel the last three because, lets see, I think one time some guy was eating eyeballs-"

"No, remember? He was just putting them in stuffed animals."

"Oh, well, that's so much better," she joked "Stuff like that is what I have to say when I cancel yet another dinner party."

Reid chuckled. "Talking about work with anyone who doesn't work with us never really goes over well. It took me years to realize that chatting about serial killers over dinner was a turn off. It seemed normal to me. Does that make me strange?"

"No stranger than me."

They smiled at each other and kept joking for well over another hour, just relaxing and hanging out, before he stretched and said "I should probably head home. Its pretty late."

She walked him to the door. "Reid..."

He turned and looked at her.

She went on "Ask me to hang out again sometime, okay?"

He nodded. "I'd like to but it might be a bad idea."

"Why's that? Hanging out with a friend-"

"You're one of my very best friends."

"Okay, with one of your best friends is better than just being home alone, isn't it?"

"But if we're together then we can't be out meeting someone to have another failed relationship with and I wouldn't want to keep you from that."

She laughed. "That's okay. I've had enough failed relationships to last a lifetime."

He stared into her eyes for a long moment. "Do you have a type, Emily?"

"Huh? A type? Well, I guess so. Assholes. That's my type."

"Hmmmm. I can see why you've racked up so many unsatisfactory relationships then. A strong woman like you would only put up with that for so long before you move on. So what makes you so attracted to men like that?"

"Hey, are you profiling me?"

"Nope. Just making conversation."

"Sure, I believe you. Okay...I guess I have a bad habit of going for the guy who comes on strong. Who chases me. Its kind of a default position because every time I go after a guy I just make a fool of myself. I don't know why but I suck at making the move on a man. Totally suck at it. Its laughable, really. So I get stuck with these alpha male types who pursue me till I just give in. I think the last time I was with a guy who wasn't anything like that was high school. Maybe I'm just looking for his exact opposite or something. Or its possible that I just need some serious therapy."

"Maybe what you need is to take a chance on something..._someone _new."

"Maybe you're right about-" before she could finish the sentence his hands cupped her face and he gave her a gentle kiss.

Emily gasped in surprise as his lips touched her. All too fast he pulled away but she wanted, needed, ached for more so she wrapped her arms around his neck and tugged him flush against her body, pulling his head down into another kiss, as they started to explore each other's mouths.

Soon their hands were roaming over each other, wanting to touch and feel and caress, to keep this moment going, to not pause and talk about it or talk themselves out of this.

Pressing her hands up under his shirt, feeling his overheated skin beneath her fingertips, seemed to ratchet everything up to another level, a point of no return. Without saying a word, he stepped back from her and pulled off his shirts, then pulled her against him again and began to devour her already swollen, wet lips.

With her heart in her throat, she started to walk backwards, pulling him down the long hall towards her bedroom. Stepping back from him, she kicked off her shoes and pulled off her socks before slowly stripping down to just her panties.

Moving close to him, as he stood there slack jawed, his eyes roaming over her flushed skin, she helped him to undress and then pulled him onto the bed over her, her fingers stroking against the taut muscles in his back, ass and thighs.

Their lips found each other again, one of his hands threaded its fingers through hers, and later there was only one question that Reid asked "Do you have something?"

"Its fine," she promised, prophetic words that would come back to haunt her later because it wasn't fine at all. It wasn't fine for a long time after that night.


	2. Chapter 2

**On My Own Too Long**

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Chapter Two**

**February 2011**

Emily woke up to find herself alone in bed. Propping herself up on her elbows she squinted against the harsh sunlight that was coming in the window.

_Knock._

_Knock._

_Knock._

Hearing someone knocking on her door she realized that was probably the noise that had woken her up. Groaning, she got out of bed, grabbed a silk robe and hurried down the hall. Looking through the peephole she saw a guy standing there with a large package.

Cautious always- because of her job- she took her gun out of the drawer in the table closest to the door, where she kept her mail also, and put it behind her back before she opened the door.

"Morning," she said to the stranger.

"I have a delivery for Lauren Reynolds."

"Lau-" she mumbled, her heart nearly stopping. "I'll sign for it." After closing the door she put the gun away and opened the package to see a flower arrangement. It immediately brought back memories.

"Someone sent you flowers?"

Emily jumped at the sound of Reid's voice and dropped the flowers. "Shit! I thought you had left."

"I was in the bathroom."

Walking over he bent down and picked up her flowers. "You don't have to tell me who sent these to you, if you don't want to. Its not my business." He set them on the table. "I'm glad you're up. I wasn't sure if I should wake you to say good bye or if your alarm was set for work."

"Well most women don't like to wake up alone the morning after, unless they can't stand the guy."

"I really have never understood why anyone would sleep with someone they can't stand. It doesn't seem worth it, logically."

"Sometimes life is all about the illogical though." She glanced at the flowers again.

He said "I didn't realize you're seeing someone."

"I thought you weren't going to ask?"

"Maybe I'd like to know where I stand with you...with this."

After a long, agonizing moment she said "Last night was wonderful. I wouldn't change what happened for anything..."

He swallowed hard. "But..."

"But it's a bad time for me to start anything new with anyone, even you, even one of my best friends who I know it wouldn't be like all my other messed up relationships but it would still have one thing in common with those...me. Me, Reid. I'm the messed up part of all my relationships and I can't...right now I just can't deal with this." With that said she walked into her bedroom and closed the door.

Reid gathered his coat, with his keys and wallet in the pocket, and left without trying to talk to her again, leaving Emily to sit in her shower with cool water coming down on her, tears streaming down her face, as she wondered if those flowers really meant what she thought they meant.

Was Ian Doyle somehow out of prison? Or had he sent someone after her? How did he learn that she wasn't Lauren Reynolds and Lauren Reynolds wasn't dead? Did he know where his son Declan was or did he want Emily to tell him that?

She'd die before leading Doyle to that little boy. Hell, who was she kidding? She'd probably be dead soon, one way or the other, anyway.

And she'd sent Reid away without telling him a thing about why. If not for that knock on the door this morning, those flowers arriving, what would it have been like when her and Reid talked? What if she had told him "Just keep asking me out and we'll see if we can keep having amazing nights like last night."

What if she would have confessed that last year she used to have feelings for him but she'd never thought he'd see her that way? What if she could have made him understand how much she cares? How he's different than any other man who has ever made love to her before, ever been her friend before, ever wanted her before.

What if...but it was too late for what ifs now. Right now she had to deal with what she knew was true. Ian Doyle or someone associated with him had sent her a message and that could only mean one thing: her past had finally caught up to her.

XXXXXXXXX

Nearly a month later, Emily knew her time was running out. Reid was researching Doyle's life, after Doyle put himself on the BAU"s radar, and Emily was sure that sooner or later Reid or someone else on the team would learn she had used the alias Lauren Reynolds.

It had been a tense time between her and Reid since they had slept together. They were polite but there were moments when she would catch him watching her and moments when she would cry while all alone in her apartment...waiting out another sleepless night, just trying to survive till dawn. But survive for what?

She had lied to the team so many times and hurt the man who understood her the best, the one who maybe could have loved her, if only she was a better woman. A woman strong enough to be honest and not hide all her sins.

Emily knew she couldn't stay in Quantico. Doyle was too close. He would get to her or the team. She needed to lead him away from Virginia, away from her family.

She had to leave, she knew that, but what she didn't know is if she would ever make it back.

Finding Reid at his desk she asked "Any luck yet?"

"I know there is something in these phone records. I just haven't been able to find it yet." He rubbed his temples. "Maybe its this headache that I just can't shake that's screwing with my concentration."

"I have aspirins." She reached for her desk drawer.

"They don't work. The doctor gave me something stronger but it doesn't hardly touch the pain either."

"Doctor? How bad are these headaches?"

"Excruciating."

"Reid! You should be home in bed."

"I think I can figure out what I need better than you can, Emily."

"Right, right, of course you can. I just...I hate to see you hurting, that's all. I wanted to be the one to make you happy but I screwed it all up."

He stared into her eyes. "Pretty much."

"I know. Just do me one favor, please? Don't ever doubt how much I wanted to be the person...you took to foreign films, and the one you talked about serial killers with over dinner...and even the one you woke up to see looking awful with my hair a frizzy mess and sleep in my eyes. It was just really bad timing and what I wanted...I couldn't have..."

"Why? Because you wouldn't let yourself?"

"Its more than that, Reid. Its personal. I'm going through some personal things that I can't explain to you."

"But I tell you _everything_."

"I'm sorry. That's all I can say right now is that I'm sorry. I just wanted you to know what I wanted...what I wanted us to share...what I wanted to give you...if I was a different woman who had something left to give."

"Emily, whatever you have to give is enough for me, even if I understand you less and less as the days go by, and even if you're just trying to let me down easy and I don't get it. I still want you to know: you were always enough for me, as is, no changes needed and whatever problems you have or baggage doesn't bother me cause its what makes you who you are. And I am very fond of who you are."

"I'm very fond-"

Just then Hotch came out of his office and called to them that they would be having a task force meeting in half an hour and to spread the word to the rest of the team.

Emily grimaced. "I better go tell Morgan and Garcia."

"I better get back to work."

Emily started to walk away but Reid called her name. She looked back.

He said "There isn't anything you need to be afraid to tell me, okay?"

She nodded but walked away, not telling him her secret because it was her burden to bear alone. Tears stung her eyes as she made up her mind that today was the day she had to run.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

"Why?" Reid kept repeating after they found Emily's credentials in her desk that afternoon. "Why would she run? We're her family! Why? She knows we would protect her. We'd do anything for her! Why? I don't understand any of this!"

Garcia said "We're gonna find her, right?"

"If she doesn't want be found," Rossi said "she'll make it damn hard on us."

Morgan said "I knew that she was hiding something. She's been acting weird for a month now! Why couldn't she just tell us she knew Doyle? Why hide it like this? She risked her lives and all of ours! What is the big secret anyway? Is she dirty or something?"

Hotch wore the most frustration expression on his face and a clenched jaw. "We all have questions about why Prentiss would walk off the job but we can't lose focus. We need to work this like any other case."

Reid said "But its not any other case. Its Emily. And she's all alone out there."

"We profile Prentiss. That's how we'll figure this out," Hotch decided, leading them all to the roundtable room.

Later JJ joined the team and they set about trying to bring their girl home but they all knew that as long as Doyle was alive and out of prison there was really no safe place for Emily...maybe no safe place for any of them.


	3. Chapter 3

**On My Own Too Long**

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Chapter Three**

**March 2011**

"I need a medic," Derek Morgan cried into his walkie talkie. "Officer down! Officer down!"

Hearing this made Spencer Reid's heart jump into his throat as he moved through the darkened warehouse that they had tracked Emily to. He hadn't heard any gun shots but that wasn't the only way a person could be hurt and what if that person was Emily?

Reid was so scared he couldn't even form words. He heard next, through the walkie talkie, Hotch ask "Where are you?"

"Basement. She's breathing but unconscious. No sign of Doyle."

She..._Emily. _Reid hurried to the basement, along with other officers, and found Emily laying there with Derek holding her hand. Reid took her pulse and found it normal.

Gently he shook her "Emily, Emily...We're here. You're safe now."

She didn't wake up till later at the hospital. After going through some tests for her closed head injury the team was able to come into her hospital room.

Hotch stood there with his arms crossed over his chest. Morgan glared at her. Garcia was teary. Seaver was stunned. Rossi was sympathetic and Reid was just thankful Emily was alive and back among them, even if Ian Doyle did get away.

She sat in the bed with a bandage on her forehead, where she got a cut. "I know I screwed up. I -"

"You think?" Derek asked.

"Let her talk," Hotch ordered.

Reid stared at Emily, as he sat nearest her bed, but she avoided his eyes while she said "I know how ruthless and dangerous Doyle can be. I didn't want any of you involved."

"Bullshit!" Derek cried. "You didn't want to fess up about your past! That's why you did all this. You cared more about keeping your dirty little secret then you gave a damn about any of us. You could have gotten all of us killed or yourself! Damn, Prentiss!" He stormed out.

Garcia sniffled. "Don't you dare ever scare me like this again," she said, before leaving the room.

Emily watched them go and then said "I can't just go back home and wait for Doyle to murder one of you like he did my former team mates."

JJ said "You're right. There are marshals on their way ready to take you into protective custody."

"Wait, what?" Reid asked. He looked at his boss. "Hotch?"

"Its an order that comes from above my head. It's the only way to ensure Prentiss' safety till Doyle is in custody again. I don't like it either but we don't have a choice."

"Sure we do!" Reid cried. "We keep working the case. We caught up to Doyle once. We can do it again. This team is the best and brightest and we all care the most for Emily."

Rossi said "That's the thing, kid. For us its personal and you know that is the way that mistakes get made."

"So we just let her go?" Reid asked.

Seaver chimed in "Is this really the only option?"

"I'm afraid so," Hotch said. He looked at Prentiss "You'll have no contact with anyone at all till Doyle is apprehended, is that understood?"

"Yes, sir."

"And if you escape protective custody you can consider your career with the FBI over,"Hotch added. He walked to the door and looked back "Good luck," he said, in a kind tone, before leaving.

Rossi rubbed Prentiss leg. "Take care and remember that no matter how long it takes one day you'll be back home and your family will be waiting."

Seaver said "Thank you for everything. You've been there for me more than anyone else. I'll miss you."

After Rossi and Seaver left Prentiss turned to look at Reid. "I know this sucks but at least all of you will be safe."

"But I don't want you out there all alone, Emily."

"I won't be alone. I'll have marshals guarding me."

"They don't care about you the way the team does. Its not the same."

"Maybe its better that way. I've felt so sick for the last month worrying about this. Not sleeping. Not able to hold down any food. I was making myself ill with worry about all of you getting hurt over me."

"So why not just tell us what was going on? I would have told you if it was happening to me."

She stared down at her hands, picking her nails. "I guess I was ashamed. When I worked that case to bring down Doyle...I did things...things that I can't hardly live with now."

Reid sat on the edge of her bed and lifted her chin, cupping it in his hand. "You don't ever have to be scared or ashamed to tell me anything. I care about you too much to ever hate you because of anything."

"I know I have no right to ask you this but I could use to hear it before I go away and who knows when I'll see you again: do you forgive me, Spencer?"

He nodded. For a long moment they stared into each other's eyes before he stood up and said "I don't want to say good bye. I don't know how."

"Then don't say goodbye. I'll be back one day. Till then...you should practice asking out other woman and also get a second opinion on your headaches. Promise me you'll do that for me? It's the only two things I really want now."

"Okay, Emily, but only because I want to give you what you want. I want to find Doyle so you can come home but until I do...I'll give you this for now."

She gave him a very tense smile. "Thanks."

Reaching out he caressed her check, leaned down and kissed her gently, "When you come back home I'll practice asking you out. Say no if you want but I need to ask you anyway. I need to know what you'll say when I ask...to hear it...to understand this better, if nothing else."

With her voice cracking she caressed his face and said "It could be a long time before I can come back though..."

"It took me a long time to realize how close I already was to the woman who I could take on a date and actually enjoy myself so if it takes a long time for that woman to come back to me then I can handle that, as long as she does come back."

Just then JJ came in, followed by several marshals, and said "Its time."

Reid and Prentiss shared a long look before he squeezed her hand and then left her there to prepare to go into witness protection...not knowing if it would be days, weeks, months or years till he could see her again.

Only knowing that his feelings for her were a jumbled mess of wanting, being confused, hurt, sad and slowly going numb at the idea of her being out there without any of the team to protect her. He hadn't expected to feel all this when he asked his good friend Emily to the movie but all that happened between that moment and this one had changed Spencer Reid...changed him maybe for good.

At least it felt like he'd never be the same as before he started to feel more for her. Before he started to think he could love her if only she might let him. Maybe she would...when they meet again.


	4. Chapter 4

**On My Own Too Long**

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Chapter Four**

**September 2011**

There was never one peaceful moment she spent while living in protective custody. She always was looking over her shoulder, sleeping with a gun under her bed, waiting for Doyle or someone he hired to show up.

The farmhouse where she was staying was far from the nearest town, which made it easier for the marshals to keep track of who was coming and going down the only two lane street that led to her home. Just one marshal stayed with her at all times. Most times a person in witness protection was on their own in a new city with a new name but her case was special.

Doyle was dangerous enough to warrant round the clock protection for Emily.

Still she couldn't stay in the farm house all the time. Sometimes she had to go into town for food or to see the doctor. It was during a trip back from the doctor that their pick up truck was rammed by a black SUV and run off the road.

The marshal jumped out and raised her gun but had to take cover when a volley of automatic weapons fire came flying back at her. Emily grabbed a gun out of the glove box, her hands shaking as she did so, desperate to not let her life end on the side of a road in Iowa.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I knew I shouldn't have let you talk me into coming to the ER."

"When you're curled up in the fetal position from pain I don't think you should need anyone to tell you its about time to see a doctor."

"I'm a doctor myself so there is nothing they can tell me here that I can't figure out on my own," Reid told Morgan, as Reid lay in a hospital bed.

He had been admitted due to his intense headaches but now Reid was getting fidgety because the doctors could find no cause for them. After months of going through tests and having episodes where he could barely leave his darkened bedroom, Reid was ready to try and read his way into some cure on his own and turn his back on the established medical community.

"Not that kind of doctor, genius," Morgan told him, while shaking his head at him.

"More of a doctor than you'll ever be. Unless you count playing doctor with nurses as being a doctor."

"You must be feeling better since you're getting cranky." Just then Morgan's phone rang. He pulled it out, noticed it was Hotch calling him and answered "Hey...what?" Morgan ran his hand over his bald head. "Yeah, yeah, okay. I'll meet you at the airstrip."

Once Morgan disconnected the call Reid asked "A case?"

Morgan gave him a pained look and let out a deep sigh. "Don't freak out, kid, but-"

"What? Why would I freak out? What happened?"

"Prentiss was-"

"Emily! What happened to Emily?" Reid started to get out of the bed. Derek tried to keep him in it but it was useless and Derek gave up.

"Calm down! Just let me tell you first, okay?"

"So tell me already!" Reid took a breath. "She's in trouble, isn't she? Did Doyle find her?"

"Yeah, looks that way. The marshal that was with her was found on the side of the road lying next to the truck that her and Prentiss were last seen inside of ten minutes before when they were in town together. There was no sign of Emily at the crime scene. We're heading out there to start searching for her but you-"

Reid stood up and headed to the closet to get his clothes.

Morgan said "You need to stay here. You're in no shape for this right now. Let us handle this."

Reid gave Morgan a look that said there was no way in hell that was happening. Morgan sighed in defeat and waited around for Reid to change so they could drive to the air strip together.

XXXXXXXXXX

In the dirty and dark barn, all Emily could think to do was pray for help to come quickly. All this stress was taking its toll on her body. She felt like she was being split in two from the pain.

Her screams didn't bring anyone to check on her. She was on her own to live or die, for hours and hours on end, until finally the barn door slid open. Squinting against the flashlight that was being aimed at her face, she panted "I don't care what you do for me but get a doctor here for-"

A maniacal laugh rang out. "An eye for an eye," Doyle said. "A child for a child."

"You love children. You don't want to be responsible for an innocent child's death. I know you don't." A labor pain hit her and she screamed, gritting her teeth. "Its too early. If I don't get some help-"

"What? Your child will be taken from you? Like my Declan was? What goes around certainly does come around, Lauren, doesn't it?"

"I can help you find Declan if you help me save my-"

He kicked her and she screamed. "You will help me find my son and only then will I let a doctor take your baby before I take your life."

"Please don't hurt my babies. Let them have a good life."

"Twins? How precious. Well, well, well, now you know how it feels to be a parent deprived of being able to protect their child. Does this make us even? I don't think so, Lauren, because I haven't had my son for eight years now while you still have your babies right here with you."

Panting hard she told him "Hate me all you want. Make me pay. Torture me to within an inch of my life. Take my life, I don't care, but I won't tell you a damn thing," she cried out in pain "till I know my babies are safe!"

He kicked her again. "The time to negotiate has passed. We do this my way now."


	5. Chapter 5

**On My Own Too Long**

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Chapter Five**

**September 2011**

"All the airports within five hundred miles were put on alert as soon as the truck was discovered," Hotch told the team as they sat on the plane flying to Iowa to search for Emily "so they couldn't have escaped by air."

"Getting on a bus or train would draw too much attention," JJ said. She had recently returned to the team as a profiler.

"They've got to be traveling by car. Probably an SUV or van," Rossi said. "Garcia, check satellite images for the area during the time of the incident."

From her lair, Penelope Garcia, whose face was on the computer screen said "Already on top of it, sir, there was in fact a black SUV spotted passing a truck stop not five miles away from where the marshal was found. I zeroed in on the license plate and got it to the local cops."

Morgan said "They will have changed vehicles or hid that SUV by now."

"If they're hiding out it has to be in a isolated area nearby," Rossi said.

Reid was already looking at his map, trying to figure out where Emily could be.

Morgan said "If it was me I'd get her as far away from there as quick as possible. Then when I have her all alone where I know we won't be interrupted I can take my time with her."

"Doyle isn't a patient man, though," Hotch said. "High risk doesn't bother him either. He just wants what he wants and he wants it now. He won't be able to wait to take her far away. Driving that could take days to get far enough away for the heat to be off. He'll hole up nearby and try to extract the location of his son out of her."

JJ asked "The marshals with Declan know about this, right?"

Hotch said "They've been informed but Emily won't give up Declan's location. She'd rather die first."

His throat scratchy from emotion Reid said, while still staring at his map and drawing circles on it, "Emily is not going to die! We'll get there in time. We're here family and she's counting on us." After another moment he looked up "And I know just where to start looking."

XXXXXXXXX

She knew if her babies were born six weeks premature in a filthy barn with no medical care that it would be a miracle if they survived. All she wanted was to hold off the births till help arrived but her body wasn't listening to her plan.

The pain was so intense there were times she thought she would pass out. Whenever Doyle kicked her, she would hunch over and try to protect the babies. When he grabbed her around her throat she worried about her oxygen supply getting cut off not because of her own life but because the babies would die if they were still inside of her when she died.

He decided to water board her to get the answers out of her about where Declan was. Every time her face was shoved under the water she felt like this was it, her and the babies would die, but then he would pull her back up, let her spit out the water and ask her again where Declan was. She couldn't tell him right away, no matter how much she wanted the torture to end, because once he knew he might kill her without letting a doctor deliver her babies first.

So Emily endured the torture until Doyle tossed her onto the ground and started to walk away, saying "When I come back you'll have your last chance to tell me where my boy is and if you don't then your babies die with you today, Lauren. They would probably grow up to be lying whores just like their mother anyway."

She moaned in pain and clutched her stomach.

Long ago she had come to terms with the fact that her life may end because of Ian Doyle but from the moment she had learned she was pregnant she knew she had to safely get her baby into the world before Doyle found her but she hadn't even been able to do that much for her kids. The doctor had deemed her pregnancy high risk due to her age and it being multiples but the doctor had no clue that his patient with the fake name, Karen Wright, was high risk for many more reasons than that.

Just as her eyes started to close, in complete exhaustion, Emily heard the sound of gunfire in the distance. She was too weak to even crawl to safety. When the barn door opened again she heard heavy footsteps running toward her but she could barely focus on the faces before her.

Relief stole through her though when she heard "POLICE! FREEZE!" right before she passed out.

XXXXXXXXXXX

The area that Reid had decided would make sense for Doyle to hide out in was woodsy with farm houses that were mainly abandoned due to the rough economic climate of the last few years. There were a few properties within a half hour radius that had the kind of privacy Doyle would need.

Between the BAU team, local FBI agents and the police they split up to search the properties. Reid wasn't at the property where Emily was found so once he heard about her rescue he rushed to the hospital to meet up with all the team and see about her health.

Last time Doyle had branded her and knocked her unconscious, left her for dead. What did that bastard do to her this time?

Reid had already learned Doyle was killed in a shoot out but that was cold comfort when Emily could be fighting for her own life right at that moment.

Reid was out of breath by the time he burst through the doors of the hospital, which was located more than an hour away from where they had been searching for Emily. Looking around, he spotted some of his team members- JJ and Hotch- and hurried over to them.

JJ immediately reached out to touch his arms, holding him steady. "She's in surgery, Spence."

"Surgery? For what?"

For a moment it seemed like JJ wouldn't answer and then she said "For an emergency c-section."

All the air was sucked out of his lungs and he felt like he might pass out. Hotch eased Spencer into a nearby chair.

"She's pregnant?" Reid asked "Did either of you know?"

"No one knew," Hotch answered. "No one has had contact with her since she went into the program."

Reid bounded back to his feet. "I need to speak to her doctors."

He was storming toward the nurse's station when Morgan came in with Rossi. Seeing the look on Reid's face, Morgan jumped in front of him. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, kid, calm down and talk to me. What's going on?"

"Emily is in surgery and someone around here is going to give me some answers!" Reid pushed past Morgan and went up to the nurses, announcing he was a doctor who worked with the FBI.

Morgan walked up to JJ and Hotch. "How bad is it?"

Hotch sighed. "Emily was beaten somewhat, it appears, and , from what I understand, she was soaking wet when she was found. There was a large wooden tub nearby where Doyle was most likely simulating drowning her. But the biggest concern right now is the fact she was in labor when she was found."

"Prentiss is pregnant?" Morgan asked, in shock, his eyes turning back to look at Reid, who was arguing with the nurses while Rossi tried to smooth things over. "Whoa." Shaking his head, Morgan went off to call Garcia because he had promised to keep her informed.

XXXXXXXXX

Reid had an unsatisfied look on his face when he finally walked back over to Hotch and JJ. "I hate hospitals."

"All we can do now is wait," JJ told him "and pray."

"She was alone all this time...and pregnant. Its not fair."

"No, its not," Hotch said "but the worse is over now."

"Is it?" Reid asked, knowing he wouldn't take an unpainful breath again until he heard that Emily was all right and so was her baby. Then maybe his headache would ease some...and maybe he could start to ask the other questions he needed answers to.

For now his mind swirled with worries about how far along Emily was, what that would mean for the health of her child, and if her body could survive the emergency c-section after all the stress Doyle had put her through in the last twelve hours. For now he couldn't worry about himself or what any of this meant for him, for them, if anything at all, because all he could think about was Emily's well being.

Now he knew what it was like to make another person the center of your world because Emily was the center of his.


	6. Chapter 6

**On My Own Too Long**

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Note- **_I do not work in the medical profession so you'll have to bear with me as far as medical things in this story_**.**

**Chapter Six**

**September 2011**

The team had split up to search different locations where Doyle might have been hiding Emily in rural Iowa. JJ and Hotch happened to end up with the group of local law enforcement agents who found Emily.

When JJ first ran into the dirty, dank bar where Doyle had been holding Emily she was scared for what she might see. She thought she had prepared herself for anything but there was no way she was prepared for the sight of Emily pregnant. JJ stayed with Em on the ride to the hospital, tried to calm Reid while Emily was in surgery, and now waited in a hospital room for Emily to be brought out of the recovery room.

JJ's mind raced with worries for Emily's child. Henry was such a joy and gift in JJ's life, she couldn't imagine if Emily's baby didn't make it. The loss would be unbearable for her friend.

When they finally rolled Emily into the hospital room, JJ jumped out of her seat, rushed to Emily's side and took her hand. "We're here. We're all here for you. Well, not Garcia yet but she's trying to get a flight out. She'll be here soon, okay? Your family is here with you."

Emily squeezed JJ's hand. "Did you see the babies yet?"

"Babies? As in more than one?" JJ asked in shock.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

The male members of the BAU stood staring through a window into the Neo natal ICU at the two newest babies who had entered the room- a three pound nine ounce boy and a four pound three ounce girl. A nurse had just pointed out Emily's children to the men.

"Twins?" Morgan asked, awed, his eyebrows both raised high.

Hotch had a concerned look on his face while Rossi looked proud and happy. Rossi said "Mark my words, those two will be fighters just like their mother."

Reid's mouth was slightly hanging open as he stared at the two tiny babies. He moved his mouth, trying to speak, but no words came out. Morgan rubbed his back, comfortingly.

The babies were inside of incubators with IVs going into them.

Reid's eyes were glued to the babies as he muttered "I need to speak to their doctor." He wanted to know what challenges the babies maybe be facing.

Morgan said "We should go check on Prentiss and find out how she is first. See if she knows anything."

"Good idea," Hotch agreed, as they all started to walk down the hallway. Reid was the last one to pull his eyes off the babies. Still in shock over everything that had happened, his mind raced with all the complications that premature babies could have and woman could go through because of having a c-section.

Guilt weighed on him because Emily had gone through her whole pregnancy far from her home, her family, her friends...him. No matter what happened next he wanted to be there for her, holding her hand tight and getting her through this. But would she let him?

XXXXXXXX

Emily had been awake for the c-section. What had caused her to pass out in the barn was a spike to her blood pressure. When she got to the hospital they got it under control and she woke back up but the fetal monitors said the babies were in distress, with their heart rates falling, so the doctors decided to rush Emily into the operating room for the c-section.

She was able to see her babies after they were born. The boy was smaller, his cry weaker, with just a little light brown hair. The little girl weighed more and had a stronger cry, with much more hair that was a lot darker than her brother.

Emily watched as they were cleaned up and then they were brought over to her for her to hold for a moment. Neither had to be given oxygen, luckily, which had been one of the main concerns the doctors told her about because their lungs might be undeveloped since Emily had been only thirty four weeks pregnant.

All too soon the babies were taken off to the neo natal unit, leaving Emily crying because she hated to have them be away from her at all. They didn't even have names yet. She had thought of some names but she wanted to speak to the babies' father first before she settled on any.

Emily hadn't been sure she would make it home from witness protection before she gave birth but now she had been rescued, JJ told her Doyle was dead, and Emily could breathe a sigh of relief that she wouldn't be raising her kids all alone in Iowa. It scared her terribly that they had been born early but the doctors told her so far they were doing really well. They would just have to wait and see if the babies would face any challenges.

As a new mother she worried constantly for her children. The only comfort Emily had was that her family was here with her so she wasn't going through this alone. They had saved her and the babies in time. If Emily had given birth out in that barn all alone she shuddered to think about how herself and the babies would have fared.

So many moments when Doyle had her by the hair shoving her face under the water Emily had feared she might die and so many times when he kicked her she had been afraid he would aim for her stomach, but he never did. He had delighted in torturing her, even though it had been highly risky to waste time that way.

He had screwed up by not taking her out of the area so the team couldn't find her. That screw up had been what saved Emily and the babies...well that and her awesome team coming for her. Knowing they would never give up on her had helped her to get through the scariest moments in that barn.

Though she was physically safe now she was still incredibly worried about her babies. Her emotions were on a roller coaster. She wished she could have protected them better so they weren't born six weeks early.

JJ had been sitting with Emily, holding her hand and trying to reassure her, and eventually the guys from the team walked up to the open door of the hospital room. Hotch asked if they could come inside and after Emily waved them all four men shuffled in, looking rather stunned at this turn of events.

Rossi was the first to smile and tell her "You have two very beautiful babies there."

Emotionally, Emily said "Thank you. I think so too."

Hotch told her "I'm sorry we didn't get to you sooner."

"You got there. That's all that matters," Emily assured him.

Derek told her "I'm proud of you for hanging in there until the calvary arrived. Doyle's dead and you're safe now."

"Music to my ears," Prentiss said.

Reid walked over to her. He took one of her hands in both of his as he gave her a forlorn look over the bruises on her.

Emily said "I know I look like hell but it doesn't hurt that much really, surprisingly."

JJ said "That's the epidural," with a small smile, then she turned to face the rest of the team. "I could use coffee. What about you all?"

She hustled the guys out, with them all promising to come back soon, leaving only Reid and Prentiss alone. She squeezed his hand. "I'm sorry you found out this way about my pregnancy."

"It doesn't matter how I found out. All that matters is that you and the babies are okay."


	7. Chapter 7

**Note**- _I want to give a sincere thank you to all the readers who gave me _**nice** _reviews. I probably won't be posting another CM story for a few months or more since I am struggling very much these days with my writing. I am having a crisis of confidence, lack of inspiration and every single story gets harder and harder than the last one to produce so I need to give myself a break till my circumstances change. There are still more chapters to this story left though and I'll get it all posted soon._

_Anyway, thank you to the people who are taking the time to read my work._

**On My Own Too Long**

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Chapter Seven**

**September 2011**

Tears welled in Emily's eyes as she lay in the hospital bed with Reid holding her hand, moments after they were reunited.

"They came so early! They're so small!" She wiped away some tears. "But the doctors said that for being born at thirty four weeks and being twins they were doing good so far. I just pray they don't have any problems. I can't handle thinking that our kids will have to struggle just because Doyle did all this and made them come early! I'm so pissed off, Reid!"

"Shhh," he said, brushing a kiss on her hand before looking up into her eyes. With his voice breaking he asked "I'm the father? I didn't want to assume..."

"Either you or immaculate conception."

He smiled through his own tears and kissed her hand again. "I missed you so much, Emily. I'm going to be here for you and the babies, I promise."

She ran her fingers through his hair. "I've had six months since I found out I was pregnant but you've only had a few hours, I don't expect you to make me any promises right now. You deserve time to figure out how you feel about all this."

"How I feel is that I never thought I could love anything or anyone as much as I did when I first looked at the twins."

"They're beautiful, aren't they? I hope they let me go see them soon because I will not be able to stand staying in this room while they are down there. I wonder how long they'll have to stay here. Maybe weeks?"

"However long it is, I'll be right here with you all. It was wrong for you to be here alone all these months."

"Reid, don't feel guilty about that. Its my own fault that Doyle attacked me that first time because I didn't tell the team what was going on and that's why everything that happened afterwards happened. I screwed up big time and I know I hurt you when I pushed you away."

"Yeah you did. We're best friends and there's nothing you need to hide from me or be afraid to tell me. I hope one day you feel that way, Emily."

"I'm pretty stuck in my ways but I'll try. I promise to try harder to be open because I want things to stay good between us, especially for the twins sake. I'm so scared for them, Reid. You think they'll make it, don't you? The doctor said they were breathing on their own and that means their lungs were well developed."

Just then a nurse came in to check on Emily and Reid stepped out of the room, more determined than ever to find a doctor and make sure the babies were in good health, then to get a book on premature infants so Reid could learn every statistic known to man about what his children might be facing.

Right outside the door of the room he ran into the rest of the team, who hadn't gone for coffee because they were too anxious to find out if Reid was the father of the baby. Morgan, Garcia and JJ knew that Reid and Prentiss had a one night stand back during winter and Rossi and Hotch could tell by everyone's behavior that Reid and Prentiss must have been involved in some way.

Morgan searched Reid's face to tell if he was happy or upset. Reid's clenched jaw made it seem like he was fuming with anger so Morgan patted him on the shoulder and said "Lets go get some air, kid."

"No, I need to see a doctor to find out about the health of the twins. Emily won't be able to go visit them for hours still because she is on bed rest so its up to me to make sure they're okay. I'm their father and they're counting on me."

JJ let out a cry of joy and hugged Reid. "Spence, that's wonderful! I'm so happy for you."

Rossi smiled from ear-to-ear. Even Hotch cracked a tiny smile. Morgan let out a happy sigh and went to call Garcia with another update.

A little while later Spencer had a doctor paged and he came to sit down with Spencer and explain the health of the twins, what they knew so far and what they needed to be on the look out for happening. The only health concern the babies had was that they couldn't take a bottle yet because their sucking reflex was not developed so they would have to be fed intravenously for the time being.

A weight was lifted off Reid when he heard the doctor tell him his children were perfectly formed and not facing any major medical crisis at the moment. Until today Reid had no idea how truly terrifying it could be to a parent. He would do anything for his two kids already.

Though he had only been a father for less than a hour he already was completely devoted to the babies and relieved to have Emily alive and well, here to help him tackle raising the kids. A chill went through him at the thought that she could have died today. They all could have died.

Reid was learning how it felt to love so deeply that their lives meant way more to him than his own because that is how he felt about Emily and the kids.

XXXXXXXX

Rossi looked around the small home where Emily was staying while in witness protection. It had two bedrooms. One had belonged to Marshall Serena Watkins, who was shot three times by Doyle's men, twice in her bullet proof vest and once in the leg. She had survived her injuries and was hospitalized currently.

The other bedroom belonged to Emily. Rossi decided to hire a maid to make sure the place stayed clean and the fridge stayed stocked during the time that Reid would need to live in Iowa, waiting for Emily and the kids to be released from the hospital.

"Well this place is cozy," Rossi said, with a hint of sarcasm in his tone. "Tight quarters, huh?"

"We've stayed in smaller," Hotch said. "You can take the couch."

"Like hell," Dave joked. "I'm driving back into town to find a Ritz-Carleton."

"You better keep driving right through town cause I doubt there is one within a hundred miles of here."

"Something comparable then."

Hotch chuckled. "Good luck with that." He looked around the small house for a moment and then said "You know when the twins come home Prentiss will need plenty of baby stuff. I put some of Jack's stuff in our attic but she'll need more."

"Are you suggesting we throw a baby shower? Isn't that more up the girls' alley?"

"Uncle Dave could just charge up his credit card."

Rossi chuckled. "So could Uncle Hotch."

"Yes but Uncle Hotch doesn't have Uncle Dave's money."

The men laughed and soon after decided to head back to town for a steak dinner and some beers to celebrate the arrival of the twins and the safe rescue of Emily.


	8. Chapter 8

**On My Own Too Long**

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Chapter Eight**

**September 2011**

Spencer Reid wheeled Emily Prentiss down to the neo natal unit at the hospital in Iowa so they could hold their babies for the first time. In the hours since the twins birth Emily had spent most of the time sleeping, while Reid spent it researching premies on the internet, and Derek fretted over Reid until Derek finally passed out asleep in a waiting room.

Hotch and Rossi had left to have dinner and JJ had went to book hotel rooms for all of them.

Once they made it to the neo natal unit Spencer and Emily had to both wash their hands and put on gowns before they could go near the twins. As soon as Emily saw her babies laying in incubators with IVs in them she started to cry. They were so skinny that their skin was stretched tight over their little bodies.

The nurse placed the boy baby in Emily's arms and the girl baby in Reid's arms. The proud parents marveled at how beautiful their children were and asked questions about the baby's health.

Emily said to Reid "They really do need names."

"In some ancient cultures it was common to not name a child for weeks or even months after birth."

Looking at her son, Emily said "Daddy wants to call you baby boy for a few weeks. What do you think about that?"

Reid smiled at hearing himself be referred to as Daddy. "I didn't say I want to call him baby boy. That will only remind me of Morgan and calling our daughter baby girl will remind me of Garcia. As much as I care about them both our children deserve their own identities. So, you're right, they do need names right away."

"Daddy says I'm right. I love it when he uses his big brain for good."

Their daughter yawned and then her eyes fluttered open for a second before closing again. Reid mentioned that they needed to take pictures to capture this moment so he set his daughter back in the incubator and left the neo natal to go get his camera phone. Within the next half hour they got pictures of each of them holding each of the babies with shocked, tired, loving looks on their face- at the beginning of a long, unprepared for journey as parents together.

XXXXXXXXXX

Back in Emily's hospital room, Reid sat next to her bed. "I hate that you had to go through finding out you were pregnant alone. Did it come as a shock since you were on birth control?"

"Reid..."

"What?" he asked, a blank expression on his face.

"That night we were together, I know I told you not to worry about it but," she ran her fingers through her hair "that wasn't because I was on any sort of birth control. I hadn't been with anyone in months and didn't plan to be with anyone any time soon so I wasn't using anything."

"But you said-"

"Look, I'm forty and I didn't hate the idea of making a baby with you so I wasn't worried about it. I didn't actually think we'd get pregnant that night and I sure didn't think we'd have twins. It was wrong to mislead you that way though. I could say I was caught up in the moment, and I was, but mainly I just...its hard to explain. When you want a child so bad and you're finally with someone you'd actually like to have a kid with...it seemed wrong to get in nature's way. I know that sounds really bad. I have no good excuse for my behavior. I suck. I know it. I suck for lying like that to you."

"I don't know what to say. You should have been honest with me. I should have had a choice. Just because you were ready to be a mother doesn't mean I was ready to be a father. We need to trust each other and I can't trust you if you lie to me, keep secrets and manipulate situations."

"I don't blame you a bit for feeling that way."

"Good cause you shouldn't. It's the truth. You...we've...got to work on honesty because our twins need us to get along and trust each other so they can see a good example of a functioning family."

"More than anything I want our kids to be healthy and happy. After all I've done I know it may be too late for us to have more than a friendship but we do have more anyway...we have our own little family now."

"The feeling of shock still hasn't worn off me. When I woke up today I didn't think I'd become a father. I wasn't sure I'd ever be a father actually."

"I had just about given up on the idea I'd ever be a mother."

He took her hand in his. "We're parents, Emily, together and the most important thing from now on will never be us again. It will always be them."

"It scares me to see them hooked up to IVs like that."

"It doesn't mean they're not doing well. They just have special needs because they were born premature."

"I guess they will have to stay here for a while so I won't be moving out of my rental house anytime soon. You should see it, its way out in the country and I wake up to the sound of cows and chickens at the neighbor's house. We couldn't even get cable tv out there so Serena and I lived like you do- reading a lot, playing chess and cards." After a moment Prentiss added "I want to visit her once I'm released from here." Prentiss was at a different hospital than Marshall Serena Watkins because of where Doyle had hidden Prentiss was in a neighboring county from where Serena was shot.

Emily added "JJ told me that she called to check on Serena and the doctors said she was in stable condition. Lucky she had her vest on and that Doyle just wanted to get out of there quick so once she was injured he didn't stick around for the kill shot. She's been so kind to me...For months she was the only one around to talk to about everything."

"I'm glad you had someone. It had to be hard on you."

"I know it was hard on everyone for me to be in Witness Protection and knowing Doyle was out there somewhere. I hope you took care of yourself. Did you ever find out what was causing those headaches?"

"They are migraines induced by stress. Basically our job is trying to kill me slowly."

Her face fell. "So maybe you need a new job then."

"Leave the team? They're my family. What else would I do?"

"Teach. You'd make a great teacher, Reid, on any subject."

"The students would fall asleep during my boring lectures. Besides I'm not good at public speaking."

"Maybe you could write books like Rossi does then?"

"I don't know, Emily. I've been thinking about this for months now. I have thought of leaving the BAU but then I just don't...this is all I know."

"Your health comes first, though. Our kids need a healthy father."

"I know. I'll figure it out. I'm using herbal treatments for my symptoms."

"Does it help?"

"A little. Not always."

"Maybe you just need a long vacation. It looks like you're going to get one if you decide to stay here with me and the twins till they can fly home."

"Of course I'm staying. I wouldn't leave you or our kids. Do you really think I would?"

"I guess I just need to hear things said aloud sometimes."

He squeezed her hand. "I'm going to be right by your side, Emily. Is that aloud enough for you?" He gave her a tender smile.

She nodded and smiled back at him. They were thrust into parenthood together, neither knowing how to do all they needed to do but knowing that it would be easier with the other there to help than it ever would be if they had to tackle this alone.


	9. Chapter 9

Note-_Thank you to everyone who sent in a review. I am hoping that season seven will give me inspiration for more stories. Got my fingers crossed._

**On My Own Too Long**

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Chapter Nine **

**September 2011**

The day after the twins were born Derek Morgan waited outside of the neo natal ICU for Spencer Reid to come into the hallway. When Reid stepped out of the room Derek passed Reid a coffee and greeted him with "There's the daddy. You know, kid, you looked like a natural in there rocking that baby."

"Is it really appropriate to call me kid when I have two kids of my own now?"

Derek chuckled and mussed Reid's hair. "Aw, you think you're all grown now, huh?" The men started down the hall toward Prentiss room, Derek asked "So how are you handling all this? It's a lot to hit a person all at once."

"There's so much to think about, so much to take in, that I haven't had time to process it completely. Yesterday all I wanted was to find Emily and have her be unhurt. But we didn't find her in time-"

Derek gave Reid a sympathetic look. "Doyle did his best to torture her but Prentiss is tough and she held out. Do I wish we got there sooner? Hell yes. But, hey, we did find her in time. The fact that her and the babies are here proves that. Don't beat yourself up about what none of us could change but instead how about you give yourself some credit for figuring out the area we should search for her? Without that, maybe this all would have had a much grimmer ending. One I hate to even let cross my mind. Thanks to you, Prentiss and the twins made it. Your family made it. Celebrate that. Plan for the future. Don't beat yourself up about the fact that Doyle got to her."

"If I can't protect her from something like that then why would she ever trust me to protect the twins?"

"She does trust you. That's how you two got twins together."

After a moment Reid smiled a little.

Derek pushed at Reid's shoulder. "Look at you, lucking into such a hot baby mama! You've come a long way."

"There was a time I seriously believed I would always be alone. If not for the BAU I think I would have been."

They made it to Emily's room. "Well, you're not alone, Reid. You're surrounded by family and whatever help you need we got your back. Garcia is flying in today. I'm gonna go pick her up at noon. You know she's gonna be all over you, Prentiss and the twins, smothering you with love. You won't have the chance to ever feel alone again with all us around and now two mini geniuses too."

"At this point its too soon to predict if the twins will have high iqs and I honestly don't care if they don't. Life is easier being average, like you."

Derek rolled his eyes at that dig. "Life is easier being drop dead gorgeous, like me, so lets hope they get their mama's looks."

"I thought I'm a pretty boy?" Reid teased, as they entered Emily's room.

She smiled at them. "What kind of trouble are you two into this early in the morning?"

Reid said "Morgan is picking on me and said the kids will be ugly if they look like me."

Emily shot Morgan a dirty look and he shook his head at Reid before Morgan said "Go tattle to Mommy, you big baby."

Emily looked at the coffee they were holding. "I miss that so much! Where's mine?"

Morgan offered "I'll go get you one."

"No, you don't have to," Emily insisted.

"No problem. It will give you two some time to talk and finally name those babies. You know Derek is a very strong name. And Morgan works for a girl or boy. Just something to think about." With a smile on his lips, Derek walked out.

Reid looked at Emily "How are you feeling today?"

"If I don't move too much and keep doped up on pain meds its almost bearable. When the epidural finally wore off last night, though, I was ready to shoot someone if they didn't get me some kind of pain medication quick."

"I'd go through this all for you if I could, Emily."

"Aw, well that would certainly be one for the records book if you gave birth to our twins. Its okay, Reid. I'm in pain but its all worth it for having the babies here. I can hardly wait to go visit them again today. I hate having them away from me like this."

"I just came from there and they were both doing well, the nurses said. Which is good. I was glad to hear it. Still there are so many things that can go wrong that I couldn't even sleep last night for thinking about everything."

"For once, maybe nothing will go wrong. Wouldn't that be something? Cause, in my life, things are always ending up all messed up but this time, just this one, I hope that we get lucky."

"I already feel luckier than I ever thought I would be."

"Some guys would be running for the door in a situation like this. I mean, look at it, you sleep with a friend once and end up with not one but two kids. It's a lot to take in and if you need time to yourself to process it then that's cool. I know you'll be back when you're ready- if for no other reason then cause you know I'd be a disaster as a single mom so I need you around."

"You'd be amazing as a single mom, Emily. You're amazing at anything you try to do. You don't need to keep offering me time to think about all of this and how I feel. I don't want to run away from my responsibility."

"I know you would never do that. I just want you to allow yourself time to process so you are not overwhelmed. This is a lot to handle all at once for anyone."

"Yeah, but I can and I will handle it. Before we found you I had the worse headache and it didn't go away till you and the kids came out of surgery and I knew you were okay. Staying here makes me feel better than leaving ever could. I already told you yesterday that I'm staying right here with you and the kids till you're released. I wished you would have let me sleep in here last night cause that lounger there looks more comfortable then the chairs in the waiting room but I'm staying here one way or the other till you all leave here."

"You stayed here at the hospital last night? How did you change your clothes then?"

"JJ brought me by my go bag late last night. I couldn't go to the hotel. What if the babies needed their father?"

"Reid..." Emily said, in a tender voice.

He took her hand and squeezed it. "All I want is to be here when you all need me. Its what a father does, isn't it? Or what a father _should_ do. A good father, at least. And I want to be one of those...to help you and to give that to our kids. They deserve that so I have to figure out how to be one."

"You're already a good father. You put them at the top of your list, I have no doubts about that. And when you learned about them you didn't ask first _'How will this affect me? I didn't sign up for this_.' but you asked '_What can I do for them_?' That shows you are thinking like a parent."

"I never expected to be a parent and I know that no matter how many books I read there will still be more things I don't know about parenting than things I do know but, no matter what challenges ever happen, I am not going to let my kids grow up without me around."

"While I was in witness protection I kept thinking that if something happened to me, if Doyle got to me and I was never seen again, then you would never know that we made two kids together...I'm glad you know now."

"I hate that there was no way for you to tell me sooner. We were cheated out of that moment together."

"Its all my fault because I handled Doyle wrong. What I did during his case eight years ago-"

"Don't beat yourself up about that. Its history now and-"

"Ancient history, I know, but it comes back to haunt me over and over."

"I wouldn't call it ancient history as the word ancient signifies thousands of years but it is in the past and there is too much happening in the present to worry about Ian Doyle anymore. He tried to take you away from all of us but he lost. You won, Emily. Because you were so strong I'm a father to twins and I have you here...my friend, one of my very best friends. I missed you so much every day. You are the only one who sees me as fully grown adult and not just a tall kid. I'm almost thirty. I'm not the teenager that the rest of the team seems to think I still am."

"Almost thirty? Well, you are old then," she joked. "Ancient, in fact. Oh no, sorry, not ancient cause that denotes thousands of years." She chuckled and then winced because laughing made her abdomen hurt.

Seeing her wince, Reid stood up. "Should I call for a nurse so you can get more pain medication?"

"I'm okay for now. What you can do is pick up that folder over on the table. It has the birth certificates that we need to fill out and sign. And you know what that means...time to name baby boy and baby girl. Have you got any ideas?"

"I'm sure you must have thought up a few names over the months, Emily."

"Yeah, a couple but you go first."

They sat there, tossing back and forth names, until they settled on two. Emily sighed in relief.

Reid said "Now you know what we have to do next, don't you?"

Emily saw his look and groaned, then winced. "No, no, no. I can't handle that right now. I'm not calling my mother."

"If you don't she really may never forgive you. Think about how much it would hurt if you were in her shoes."

After a long pause Emily said "Fine but I'll need more pain medication before I make _that _call."


	10. Chapter 10

**Thank you for reviewing!**

**On My Own Too Long**

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Chapter Ten**

**September 2011**

"You mean now?" Emily asked Reid in a horrified voice, right after she agreed to call her mother to tell Elizabeth about the twins and then Reid handed Emily a phone. "I can't right this second."

"Why not?"

"I have to work up to something epic like that. Plan how to break it to her."

"You've had months to plan that. If you haven't by now then I think you'll have to wing it."

"You obviously have no idea how to deal with my mother!"

"Emily-"

"Do not Emily me. Have you called your mother yet?"

His face told her that he hadn't.

She motioned at the phone. "You first."

"My mother is on medication and she might not even remember if I tell her so it's a completely different situation."

"My mother will make me feel bad for being unwed, getting myself sent to witness protection, the babies coming early and sleeping with a man who never even bought me dinner before!"

"How would she even know that?"

"She's my mother. She has radar for things like that."

"Take a deep breath. Its not good for you to become hysterical over this."

"I've never been hysterical a day in my life, Reid!"

Just then Derek came strolling back in with the coffee "Prentiss, you better name a kid after me now cause the line at the coffee shop was bananas to get you this sweet treat. Here you go, little mama."

She took the coffee.

Derek raised an eyebrow. "So what kind of drama did I walk in on? Everything okay with the babies?"

Reid said "I should go check on them again, actually."

Emily told him "Kiss them both for me. I'll be down there later."

Reid told her "While I'm gone you should start _planning_," then he walked out.

Morgan asked "What was that about? Planning what?"

"Nosy much?"

"Always. Talk to me."

"He wants me to call my mother and tell her she's a grandma."

"You ain't called her yet? My mother would tan my ass if I waited this long before letting her know."

"I've been a little busy having a c-section and visiting my two premature babies. Shoot me!"

"Okay, okay, relax there, Prentiss. I know you and your mom don't got the best relationship but she loves you and she'll be happy for you, don't you think?"

Emily sighed. "She's never happy unless I do things her way. Do you really think anything about this situation screams the way my mother would want things to go down?"

"I hear you but its not for you to worry about if her expectations ain't met. That's for her to deal with. You just tell her what the deal is and don't take none of her crap if she starts in about how you got yourself in this situation."

"She stresses me out so much. Sorry but I'm just not up for her drama right now. I don't care if she does hate me forever for keeping her out of the loop."

"Maybe she'd surprise you."

"Ha. My mother? Not likely!"

Just then JJ, Hotch and Rossi came in, carrying arms full of presents for the babies. Emily perked up some as she talked to them, though she was still in a lot of pain and worried about the future. It was good to have her loved ones around though.

Even if it was sad that her mother would only make things worse, not better, if she was here, Emily believed that to be the truth and wasn't ready to deal with the added stress of managing her mom's emotions on top of her own right then.

XXXXXXXXX

Reid spent some time down in the nursery, just staring at his sleeping babies and badgering the nurses with the same questions he had asked an hour before when he was there. Finally he went back down to Emily's room to find Morgan had left, needing to make it to the airport to pick up Garcia, but Hotch, Rossi and JJ were now in there.

Emily told him "Everyone is dying to hear the baby's names but I told them they had to wait for you to come back. First tell me how my baby's are doing?"

"Good. They were both asleep."

Hotch joked "Don't get used to that."

JJ chuckled. "Okay, come on, Spence, and tell us their names. I can hardly wait to hear what you two picked out."

"Our daughter is named after Homer's muse and her middle name is for the marshal who protected Emily all these months when she was away from us."

Rossi asked "Are you really expecting us to know who Homer's muse was? Its been a while since some of us in this room were in college."

Emily answered "Calliope Serena. Callie for short."

JJ said "Callie. I like that. Its pretty."

Reid went on "And we decided to name our son Alexander Jason. AJ for short. Alex was one of the only male names we could agree on. She kept suggesting ones I never heard of before like Maddox."

Emily smirked. "I did not make that name up, no matter what you think. Just because you think you know everything doesn't mean you do."

"I never said I know everything but I do know my son isn't going to be named Mad."

"Maddox," Emily said it slowly. "Maddox."

"AJ and Callie," Hotch said. "Very nice names. I'm glad you two agreed on something. How many rounds did you have to go to hammer it down to those names?"

Reid answered "Seven for the female name and twenty one for the male name."

Rossi chuckled. "Twenty one, huh? Kid, you need to learn two magic words to make a woman happy: _yes, dear_."

Emily said "Yeah, Reid, listen to the man. He knows what he is talking about."

Reid asked her "What did your mother have to say about the names we picked out?"

"I didn't get a chance to call her yet."

"Emily-"

"I just can't. I can't yet, okay? Maybe later. I'm not up for dealing with her right now."

"Okay," Reid said, quietly, giving her a sympathetic look. Though he felt that she was only going to make it worse by waiting he had to respect the fact that her emotions were too raw right now to handle dealing with her mother. "Let me know if you want me to call her for you."

"If you did you'd regret it, believe me. She can be a barracuda sometimes. Ha, what am I saying? All the time."

"I can handle her, Emily. I'll handle whatever I need to in order to help you and the twins. You can count on me."

Emily gave him a tender look and their eyes held for a long moment. "Right now all I want is to head down to the nursery to see my kids. Would you all mind giving me a minute to get freshened up? JJ, could you stay and help me?"

The men stepped out while JJ stuck around. She helped Emily ease out of bed. JJ said "Wow, I can't believe you're a mom and we never even got a chance to talk about you being pregnant before the babies got here. And Spence is a Dad!"

"I didn't know how he would take the news but he hasn't blinked. He stepped up without thinking twice."

"It sounds like your feelings for him are still going strong."

Emily sighed. "I can't even think about all that right now. I have two kids in nicu. That's all that I can worry about at the moment."

"I get that but ignoring the fact that you made two children with one of your closest friends who you had a huge thing for isn't going to make it any easier to deal with down the road. Have you two talked about it...about what you two are to each other now? About what you both want?"

"I want to get cleaned up and go see my babies. Callie and AJ need me more right now then I need to know if Reid and I will work out. This is all so overwhelming. I can't deal with answering those type of huge questions right now. Besides we were together just one night...maybe that's all there will ever be to it. Maybe we were together just cause it was fate or something for us to conceive."

"Fate, now you sound like Garcia with her_ everything happens for a reason _stuff."

"Maybe it does."

"And maybe you love him or could love him, if you let yourself. Don't shut any doors yet, Emily, just cause you're overwhelmed, moody and terrified. Let Spence be there for you. He's a really good man. You're lucky he's your babies father, you know?"

"I know. When I think of the jerks I dated in the past...believe me, I know how lucky I am that it was Reid who I got pregnant by. But I can't answer if we're gonna get together and be a couple. I can't even worry about that right now. I just can't. Its too much and it will stress me out. I just need to focus on the babies and nothing else."

"We're gonna get your babies home and when you're back home again then you can ask their Daddy on a date."

"Jayje, I just said-"

"And I just said you need to ask him on a date and give you two a real chance. Not for the kid's sake, for your sake. And while you're at it tell him how you had a crush on him for a long time. Spence might not always get things right away but he can tell when people are lying and he'll know you're being straight up with him if you tell him the truth about how long you wanted to get with him. It could make the difference, Em. He deserves to know."

Emily sighed. "Ugh, its too much to even think about right now."

"You know I'm right."

"Smug bitch," Emily joked with her friend as JJ helped Emily to get into the bathroom.


	11. Chapter 11

**On My Own Too Long**

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Chapter Eleven**

**September 2011**

Penelope Garcia rushed into Emily's hospital room in a flurry of color and excitement, with Derek Morgan following behind her holding two teddy bears.

Garcia exclaimed, as she came to Emily's bedside, "Oh, my sweets, I just took a peek in at your two little ones and, let me assure you, it was instant love. They are so beautiful, tiny and perfect! I want one of my own right away."

Morgan told Prentiss "Look what you started."

Penelope told Emily "I was so relieved when I heard you got away from that baddie! And if I would have known you were preggers while he had you," her hand covered her heart "I don't think I would have been able to stand it. Look at your beautiful face," she was referencing how Emily had a bruise "if he wasn't dead I'd have Mr. Strong and Sexy here," she nodded at Derek "kick his ass for hurting you."

"Its all over now," Emily said "Thank God."

Morgan asked "So where's Reid? Did he finally head to the hotel for some much needed rest? I couldn't drag him out of here last night. Sleeping in those waiting room chairs really messed with my back too."

"Reid says he's not leaving the hospital till me and the babies can leave too. I'll probably be out of here in a couple of days but I don't know about the babies. The doctors say to take it one day at a time. If Reid isn't here with me he's usually down in the nursery with the kids asking the nurses so many questions they probably wish they had earplugs. Right now he's down in the cafeteria, though, probably pigging out. He was claiming to be starving."

"He's always starving," Derek said. "I'm gonna go see if I can find him. You two girls want anything from down there?"

The women both said they were fine so Derek left Penelope there to chat with Emily for a while.

"Twins, EP? Overachiever much?"

"God has a funny sense of humor, I guess. My pregnancy was high risk because of my age and then because it was multiples and then because of Doyle. At one point I wondered what else could possibly up the ante and make it even more high risk. Then I got kidnaped."

"We were all so frantic to find you. I must have said a thousand prayers. And I didn't even know to pray for your babies."

"They came so early." Emily teared up.

"But they're doing good so far, right?"

"They can't take a bottle yet because their sucking reflex hasn't devolped and they need to gain weight before they can go home but their lungs are developed and the doctors haven't found any health problems in either of them yet. I worry so much though cause I don't want anything to be be wrong with my babies and Alex is even tinier than Callie."

"Alex and Callie, they have names! That's wonderful, sweetie."

"Reid and I went round after round over the boy name but we finally settled on Alexander Jason- AJ for short."

"Little AJ and little Callie. I love them so much already. Any child of two of my dearest friends is family to me in my book. I can't wait till they can call me Auntie Penny."

"Thank you for flying all the way out here. You didn't have to go to the trouble."

"Of course I had to. You need family around you right now. Speaking of, where's your Mom? On her way?"

Emily rolled her eyes. "Why does everyone insist I have to call my mom? I'm forty years old! Not a teenager."

"Most people do want their parents around right after they have a child."

"Most people get along with their parents better than I get along with my mother. I'll call her when I'm feeling up to it and that is not today. Reid already tried to talk me into it cause he thinks she'll be hurt if I wait too long. Ha. He just doesn't know she's going to be upset to the nth degree no matter what so waiting won't change anything when it comes to that."

"How is our boy genius handling being a Daddy?"

"He's so wonderful. He puts them before everything and he doesn't say me, me, me. Its always them, them, them."

Penelope smiled. "Aw, you're still crazy about him, aren't you? Don't you deny it either, Miss EP, cause I can see love in your eyes."

"Its complicated. Having kids together doesn't mean we're meant to be together. Half the country gets divorced and plenty of those couples have kids. Kids make things more complicated actually so I don't know if Reid and I will ever get together but...yeah...I'm pretty crazy about him."

Penelope smiled ear from ear. "I'll be praying for your happy ending, sweetie, because you so deserve one."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

A few days later it was time for Emily to be released from the hospital but the babies still couldn't go home yet. Emily and Reid were visiting their kids in the nicu.

Tears stung Emily's eyes. "It doesn't feel right to leave this building without them."

"I know."

They shared a long look. "I'm probably going to be a wreck tonight, sleeping so far from these two, so if you want to stay at the hotel instead of my rental house then I get it. Its cool. We could probably both use space anyway."

"Don't speak for me. I don't want nor need space. I need to be close by to make sure you're okay."

"The doctors wouldn't let me go home unless I am. I may still feel like hell but its no worse than any other new mother probably feels. I can deal with it."

"I won't get in your way at the house. I'll give you all the space you want, okay?"

"I didn't say that I want space. I just don't want_ you _feeling obligated and don't say you don't because of course you do. You're a good guy and that's why you feel like you have to take care of me and the babies. Well the babies, yes, you do but me...I'm good."

"Remember when you told me that you need to hear things said aloud to believe them?"

Emily nodded.

Reid went on "I need you to say loud and clear that you want me to stay at a hotel tonight or else I'm staying with you at the house. So what is it going to be, Emily?"

She stared at him for a very long moment and then licked her lips. If not for the baby in her arm's- her daughter, Callie- then Emily probably would have fidgeted and picked her fingernails nervously. "I want you to stay...with me...at the house."

Reid smiled at her and didn't say anything for a while, instead just rocking his son in his arms and letting them all enjoy the moment.


	12. Chapter 12

**On My Own Too Long**

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Chapter Twelve**

**September 2011**

The rest of the team had already headed home to Virginia to get back to work but Spencer Reid had taken a leave of absence so he could stay in Iowa with Emily and the babies. Though they were just five days old the twins were doing remarkably well.

Callie, who was heavier and slightly longer when she was born, reached goals quicker than AJ. She was taken out of the warmer first and given a bottle. AJ lagged behind but eventually he would catch his sister on each milestone.

Reid and Prentiss spent as much time as possible in the neo natal unit with their babies. The rest of the time they were at the rental house.

The day after Emily was sent home from the hospital she felt strong enough to travel the hour away to where the marshal who had protected her for months- Serena Watkins- was recovering from a gun shot wound in the leg.

"Thank you for all you did to watch out for Emily," Reid told the marshal.

"I didn't do enough. Doyle should have never gotten to you," Serena said to Emily.

"Hey, you put your life on the line for me and my kids," Emily assured her "I couldn't have asked for more. And either could Calliope Serena Reid and Alexander Jason Reid. And, yeah, we did name our daughter for you because you put up with me all those months when I was crazy with pregnancy hormones."

"You weren't so bad," Serena said.

"Oh, yeah," Emily answered with a chuckle. "I was."

Later that evening, after visiting with the twins for several hours, Reid and Prentiss made it back to the rental house again. The night before Emily had been so tired that she went straight to sleep, without even eating dinner, when they got there but tonight she had more energy so she suggested they cook dinner on the grill.

"A grill? I've never used one before."

She laughed and then grew serious when she realized he wasn't joking. "I'll teach you everything that you need to know."

"I suppose its odd, all the things I've never done. Do you think I can be a good father when there are so many normal things that I can't teach our kids?"

"Reid, there are so many things that you are the only person I know who knows them. And you can teach our kids all that. And that is just as important, maybe even more so because its unique. Its you. And they will love you for being you, just like I do." She cleared her throat and walked toward the kitchen. "Now come help me with the charcoal cause I can't lift anything heavy right now."

After dinner they went online and posted pictures of the babies for their friends to see. Emily told Reid "I think they both take after you more than me."

"Lets hope not. You're beautiful and I'm just gangly."

"I totally disagree." She reached out and wrapped her finger in a strand of his hair. "From where I'm sitting you're beautiful and our kids will be beautiful if they take after their Daddy." She let go of his hair and moved away from him. "Well there's no TV here and taking a long walk is out because I'm really not up for it right now so how about playing cards?"

"Hmmm. Will I feel bad if I beat the mother of my children?" He pretended to think about it. "No, I'm good with it. Okay, lets play."

She laughed and then told him. "You should really beat me first before you run a victory lap. I never go down without one hell of a fight."

"I don't lose."

Emily smiled. "I remember perfectly how many times I've proven that statement false."

"Flukes. All flukes."

She laughed. "You stick with that story."

XXXXXXXX

On the eighth day of the twin's life Alexander developed a fever. Prentiss and Reid couldn't help but panic. At that moment Emily had the overwhelming urge to call her mother.

She was crying before Elizabeth even answered.

"Emily, what happened? Are you okay? Are you still in witness protection?"

"Mom...Mom...I have news. I gave birth...I had twins. You're a grandmother. But one of the babies...AJ...he has a fever! He's sick and I know it could be worse but he's so small. He's only three and a half pounds! I'm terrified. I really am. I can't stand the idea of my son being sick and I'm sorry for not telling you sooner that I was pregnant but I just couldn't...I couldn't..."

"Listen to me, your son is going to be fine-"

"You don't know that!"

"I do know that because he's got your fighting spirit. There is no way your child, my grandchild, isn't a fighter. Now you hang on there because I will be there soon and we'll make sure that he has the best care in all the world. Where are you?"

"You don't have to come."

"Of course I do! If the FBI says you have to be in hiding then I'll do whatever it takes to make sure I'm not followed. I'll call your boss to work out the details if need be. Agent Hotchner is still your immediate supervisor, correct?"

"I'm not in witness protection anymore. Doyle is dead. I'm in Grand Junction, Iowa."

"I am on my way. You stay strong, Emily. You are strong and your babies need you to be strong right now. We'll talk later about why this is the first I'm hearing that you were pregnant."

"Okay," Emily whispered. "Mom..."

"I love you too."

Emily let out a sigh as she hung up the phone, feeling a lot better knowing her mother would be there soon. By the time Elizabeth arrived AJ's fever had broke but the crisis had made both Reid and Prentiss grow even closer. He had been there for her to rally her spirits during the long hours of waiting and worry and she was there to keep him strong when he was thinking of all the medical reasons the baby could have a fever.

"So you're the father?" was the first thing Elizabeth said when she looked at Reid that day.

He croaked out, rocking on his heels, "Um, yeah, pretty much. I mean, yes, I am. And I'm very happy about it."

"You're happy about an out of wedlock pregnancy?"

"Mother, please, do not start with that crap."

"Well was this planned?"

Emily said "That's our business. Did you come all the way here to harass my...Spencer Reid...because if so you can turn and leave. I shouldn't have even called you. It was a moment of weakness."

"Of course you should have called me. I'm your mother and you need me right now. All I'm trying to do is figure out if this pregnancy was something you both wanted or unexpected. Is that so horrible to wonder?"

"Wonder all you want," Emily said "but stop asking. Its private."

"Is it private knowledge also if you two are dating?"

Reid slipped his arm around Emily's waist. "We are. Yep. Dating. We're really happy too- about the babies and the dating and that you're here."

"Hmmmm." Elizabeth said, skeptically. "Well lead me to the nursery so I can see my grandchildren. How is the boy doing now? How's his fever?"

"It broke," Emily said, in relief, enjoying the feel of leaning against Reid as they started toward the neo natal.

"That's wonderful news. So how did you pick their names?"

"Our son is Alexander Jason. Alex is the only boy name me and Reid agreed on and Jason is someone very close to Reid, his mentor when he joined the BAU. Calliope is from Greek mythology and Serena is the woman who guarded me when I was in Witness Protection."

"You know it might have been nice if you picked some names that mean something to our family."

"I'm perfectly happy with their names, Mother, and if you don't like them then too bad."

"Did I say I don't like them?"

It was tense until they got to the babies. Then Elizabeth turned into a pile of mush, cooing at the grandbabies and Emily couldn't stay mad at her.


	13. Chapter 13

**On My Own Too Long**

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Chapter 13**

**September 2011**

"So we're dating, huh?" Emily teased Reid, when they got in his rental car later that day.

"Its what your Mom wanted to hear. She would have only given you more hell if she thought we weren't together. I said it to spare you that."

"Thank you but I can handle my Mom."

"You know, Emily, I actually like helping you out. It proves to me that even with a tough woman like you sometimes you need someone...and maybe that someone can be me. Maybe I can show you, one day, I can be the person you want around to help you even though you could do it all alone just fine."

"I know I can't do it all alone just fine."

"Really? That's what you've told me since we met:_ I got this. I can handle it. I don't need any help_."

"I don't sound like that," she said, with a smile.

"Yeah, you do." He started the car and pulled out of the space. "What do you feel like for dinner? Do they have any good take out around here?"

"There's a place that has pretty good pulled pork sandwiches."

"Sounds great. I'm starving."

"What else is new?"

"What? I'm not always starving but hunger is one of man's most primal needs, among others."

"Well I can't help you out with your other _primal need _tonight but we'll get you fed at least."

"Actually don't assume you aren't helping me out with that too."

"Oh, really? Are you flirting with me?"

"Flirting? I don't even know how to flirt."

She laughed. "The innocent act don't work with me. Remember I know you are very far from innocent, Dr. Reid. I have two babies to prove that."

"Now Morgan can't ever again kid me about being a virgin."

"Well we never did see you around too many dates but I figured you just kept that on the down low. Other than Austin, that is."

"Austin is practically the whole sum of my romantic history."

"Really?"

"There were other women but none of them meant that much to me."

"I know what that is like. There are guys I dated that I would rather forget even knowing. It horrifies me to think I ever got with them."

He raised an eyebrow at her.

"Not you!" she cried, laughing. "Its different with us. We're friends, first and last."

"And parents together. I never thought I'd be anyone's baby daddy, as Morgan calls it."

Emily laughed again. "Well, I promise you, there will be no baby mama drama with me ever. Its all gonna be cool. At first I wondered how we'd work this but I think we can figure it out. I know that the babies being at the hospital makes it simple for us both to see them right now and we haven't talked about visitation for you after they come home but I want you to know that I'm open to whatever works for you."

"I want to do my equal share- fifty, fifty."

"Wow. That's awesome. Most men would be happy with every other weekend."

"You think so? I doubt that. Most men probably just settle for that because that is what they are offered."

"Take it from me, plenty of men shirk their responsibilities. We see that everyday in our jobs. What happens to the kids who no one takes care of when they are small."

"I know but not all men are that way and I know that I'm not. I hope you know that too by now."

"I do know that, Reid. With all my heart, I know you're going to be there every step of the way for the twins. I thank God ten times a day that you're their father, I really do. It's a relief to have a friend to share all this with and to know my kids have a great Dad who wants to be there for them as much as he can."

"I'll need your help-"

"Mine? I don't know what I'm doing. Maybe Hotch and JJ can help us both because I have no clue how a person juggles the BAU and babies."

"About that...I'm not going back to work for a while. With my headaches, the doctors wanted me to take time off anyway and now with the babies here-"

"You don't have to do that. We can get a nanny. One who has medical training. And I'm not going back to work right away either so...we'll figure it out. You don't have to derail your career because of the kids but if you want time off to deal with your health issues I totally think that is a good idea."

"My kids come before my career, Emily. Right now they need me more than the BAU does and I need to get healthy for them."

"Just know that I don't expect you to do what Will did and take a break from work to make it easier on me. That worked for JJ and Will. We can figure out what works for us. Right now, I admit, I can't imagine leaving the kids with a nanny but maybe when they are bigger, stronger and healthier I could. And if not then the BAU can get by without me for a while longer like it has for the last six months."

"Whatever you decide to do, I support you. We will figure it out- the money, the shared custody, our jobs, everything. We both made those babies so we both need to take care of them for the rest of our lives."

"Well hopefully we can teach them to take care of themselves pretty good so we can get a break when they hit their twenties."

"I guess we'll see about that in twenty years."

"Twenty years," she mused. "You ready to spend that much time hanging around me?"

"I consider myself lucky to be able to."

"Awwwww."

He smiled at her as they drove through town, with her giving him directions to the restaurant.


	14. Chapter 14

**On My Own Too Long**

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Chapter 14**

**September 2011**

That night when they were back at the rental house they sat outside, in the moonlight, talking for hours about their dreams for their children's future.

Emily told Reid "So many nights I lay in bed right inside this house and thought about this...dreamt about this."

"I think all parents do that. Imagining all the different things our children could grow up to be is an act of hope. Its saying we believe they will be healthy, live long lives and get the chance to be whatever they want to be."

"I dreamed about the kid's future but I also thought about this..us...you and me being parents together...just seeing you again...sometimes I wondered if it would be years and if it was would you hate me for keeping the kids away from you. When I came back would I get my life back? Would it just be too late?"

"Hotch would never tell you its too late to come back to work. He knows how valuable your expertise is to the team."

"I meant... it would be too late for us."

"Oh." They stared deep into each other's eyes. "I would never tell you that its too late for us because I could never imagine not feeling this way about you."

"What way is that? Remember I'm the woman who needs to hear things aloud."

He cupped her face and leaned close. "Like I want to kiss you."

Their lips came together in a soft, gentle, caress- a kiss that searched for answers more than quenched their passions. There would be time for that later. For now they needed to explore the feelings that got put on hold when she went into Witness Protection.

Emily tangled her fingers in Reid's hair and pulled him a little closer. They shared small kisses for a few moments until they broke apart, their foreheads resting against each other.

He told hr "Emily, there hasn't been anyone else in my life since you came here. I need you to know that."

Tears came to her eyes. She was more emotional these days because she had just given birth. Moving back from him, she fought back her tears, and glanced away. "Just because we have babies together it doesn't mean we need to be together...date. I care about you but I don't think we should rush into an instant made family."

"We don't have any choice there. The kids are here already. The only choice is if you and me are going to retreat from this and deny its happening...deny its real...deny how we feel...or if we're going to keep exploring this. Or maybe you want to tell me you didn't feel anything when we kissed. Go ahead and say that, if you want, but I won't believe you."

She smirked and looked at him again. "Oh yeah? How can you be so sure that I felt something?" she teased him.

"I know you, that's how," he said, capturing her lips in a more heated kiss, as his hand cupped her cheek.

Moaning while they kissed Emily opened her mouth to Reid and grabbed his shirt with two hands when his tongue slid against hers. When they broke apart again she said "It just sucks that we couldn't explore this last winter, before I ever knew I was pregnant. Now we'll never know...what might have been."

"You're right. We'll never know what would have happened then but we can still find out what happens now. What's scaring you away from the idea?"

"What makes you think I'm scared? Its not that I'm scared. Its that I'm cautious now because I'm a Mom. That changes everything, Reid. It changes me and this and us."

"Can't it be two separate issues?"

"Of course not because we're their parents and if we hurt each other and cause a war zone then they get hurt." She groaned. "I don't think I can risk that. I know that sucks. It really does. But we're such good friends and things are really good now. Maybe they wouldn't be if we get together and it doesn't work."

Stroking his hand along her face, staring deep into her eyes, he asked "Do you know what I think would be best for our kids? Us together. If there is even the slightest chance we could make that work, I think we need to explore that, both for us and them. That's what good parents would do. The question isn't if dating would risk our kid's happiness...that's not it at all, as far as I see it...the only question is: how do you feel about me?"

Right before she caught his lips in a kiss she confessed "I'm certifiably crazy about you," and as they kissed more it was decided that they couldn't turn their backs on these feelings, even if it was more complicated now and there was a lot more at stake.

Everything that was simmering between them before hadn't faded away and there was no denying they both wanted to see what they could turn into if they let their feelings grow. Only time would tell for Spencer Reid and Emily Prentiss but so far they were truly blessed to have been placed on the same team at the BAU, to grow a friendship for five years and then grow a love that made two beautiful children.

Who knows how far they could go down this road together? Under the Iowa sky that night anything and everything seemed possible for them and their babies though...and it was love- growing by leaps and bounds every day- that made what used to be a lonely life for both of them now so full.

(_This year's love had better last._

_Heaven knows its high time._

_I've been waiting on my own too long_.) (David Gray)


	15. Chapter 15

**Note-** _Thank you to everyone who has taken time to review this story. You make writing fanfiction fun for me. Right now I don't have any plot bunnies for Reid and Emily fics so I might not be able to write one for a while. Maybe season seven will get the muse interested again. _

_Its been a while since I wrote any Morgan/Garcia so you may see a fic about them from me next. Just depends on what sparks's the muse._

_Thank you for taking an interest in my work and for being supportive._

_Sara_

**On My Own Too Long**

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Chapter 15**

**October 2011**

Almost a month after they were born the twins were released from the hospital. Reid and Prentiss decided to drive them to Las Vegas and stay there for week visiting his mother.

He had written her that he was a father in many letters but it wasn't until she saw the kids that Reid was able to find out her reaction to the news, since she had never written him back or called him. Diana had her good and bad days but he knew that she treasured his letters and would read them over and over so if it was a good day she would understand that she was a grandmother now.

"Mom, this is Emily and these are our children: Calliope and Alexander."

"Homer's muse. You always were fond of mythology. I see they both have the Reid chin. A good, strong chin. It will serve them well." Then she looked Emily up and down. "So you're the one then? The woman who has stolen my son's heart. I warn you right now that you better treat it right or I'll cut yours out."

Spencer told Emily "She doesn't mean that. My Mom can be a bit over dramatic sometimes."

Diana winked at Emily "It helps around here to make them all think you're the craziest one in the bunch. Then no one messes with you. But don't hurt my son because I would make sure you suffer greatly if you do."

"No, ma'am, I won't hurt him. He's the best man I ever met and me and the kids need him around. I couldn't do this without Spencer."

"I take that to mean its serious between you two then. So when is the wedding? I need to get myself a new outfit."

"Mom! Please stop. You're making Emily uncomfortable."

"She looks perfectly comfortable to me. You're the one getting nervous. You have two children with this woman, Spencer. You need to do the honorable thing."

"We'll get married when and if we're ever ready," Reid told his Mom. "We came here to show you the babies, not be grilled about our plans."

"Well if you get married this week then I can attend. Don't you think I deserve the honor of attending my only child's wedding?"

"You'll attend my wedding if I ever get married but I'm not getting married this week. Emily and I haven't even talked about marriage. We're not ready for that yet."

"You haven't talked about it? And you have not one baby but two? I would have castrated your father if he treated me that way."

Emily said "Things are complicated because we had to spend six months apart recently so we're just getting back into the groove of things with each other and having the kids born over a month early really make them our main focus right now. Maybe we'll talk marriage one day though, you never know."

When they were back in the car, with the kids strapped in their car seats, Reid told Emily "I'm sorry about my mother. I swear she embarrasses me on purpose."

"Your mother is a barrel of monkeys compared to mine."

"A barrel of monkeys?"

"Just an expression. Its not important. I like your Mom. If Callie or AJ came to me with twins but no spouse I'd probably ask the same kind of questions."

"No, you wouldn't. You're not old fashioned and either is my mother. She was just being nosy and trying to push me to reveal if we're thinking about marriage."

"Don't let it bother you. Its way too soon for us to talk marriage. I'm just trying to make it from diaper change to diaper change right now."

Reid gave her a small smile. "I know the drive here was rough but we can extend our stay in Vegas so we don't have to make a cross country drive again in a few days. I know how hard it is to get into a routine with the twins when we're on the road. Lucky that my headaches have eased off so we don't have that to deal with too right now."

"Maybe you need to really consider changing careers if our job was the cause of your headaches."

"I think unhappiness was the cause. I was so miserable before and I couldn't face that. Deep down inside I was lonelier than any man can stand to be. But no more, Emily." He glanced back at the babies and then stared into Emily's eyes. "And that is because you said yes when I asked you to see Solaris." He lifted her hand and kissed it. "Its because I love you."

Just then a baby started to cry and Emily had to lean back to soothe AJ. They spent a few minutes talking about why he might be fussing before Reid pulled the car out of the parking lot and they headed for the house they had rented to stay in while in Vegas.

That night, once they kids were napping, Emily walked up behind Reid and looped her arms around his waist. "I need you to know...you amaze me...you make my life so much better...I hope it always feels like this between us...This is why I love you, Spencer, because no one else has ever made me feel like this, ever made me want to have his baby, ever made me happy like this, ever understood me...ever made me this hopeful...ever made me feel like being a nerd was okay...ever got me like you get me...no one knows me like you, no one has ever loved me like you do...I'm even more crazy about you today than yesterday."

He turned around, wrapped her in his arms and started to kiss her as she whispered "I love you," against his lips over and over.

It would be another two months before they made love, as they struggled to get their apartments set up for the babies back in Quantico and to get into a rhythm of sharing custody and responsibilities, but finally they had a night together when JJ was watching the babies.

Emily asked Reid to go to foreign film and dinner at a nearby tapas bar afterwards. When they got back to her apartment she put on music and they sat on the couch together cuddling and listening to it, his hands slowly stroking over her body, massaging and caressing, as they shared gentle kisses.

Reid told her "We don't need to rush into anything, Em, okay?"

"Its been over nine months since I've been with you, that's not rushing. Its more like slow torture." She pressed her hands up under his sweater and raked her nails across his skin, as she nibbled on his ear. "Put me out of my misery, please...Spencer," she blew on his ear "I need you so much tonight. I even bought new panties just for you. Don't you wanna take them off me?"

Soon they were making love on her living room floor, like two desperate people who were about to be parted for months or years. But they weren't about to, thank God, because they were much happier together than on their own.

They had both been on their own for way too long before that night last winter. Though things were still new between them, even with having two babies, each day made it seem more and more sure they wouldn't be on their own ever again.

THE END


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